I’m not sure what is left of this. I still check my phone for you. I keep any and all recordings as if it’s the only proof of existence that belongs to you. I look at your new lover and I think ”You can do so much better.” but I quickly push away the thought because I want to be happy for you and I want to be happy for myself. I have moved on physically but I fear that my heart will always leap at the sound of your name. You’re still the only one that can make me blush. You you you. It’s always been you. I never shut up when someone asks about you. Because I have always needed you. I’ve tried. Believe me please, I’ve tried to move on. It’s just that, sometimes you can’t. You can try other boys and other cities and other beds but they never live up to you. You’re beginning to ruin another relationship for me and it’s not even your damn fault.

Forgive me, darling. Please.